Birth Control Breakdown

I think one of the most underrated benefits on campus is that the Health Center in Gardiner Hall offers free birth control.

We all know the classic jokes: I can’t get pregnant if I do it doggie style, right?

However, I understand that birth control options can be intimidating. Planned Parenthood lists more than 20 different options and 10 of those options are applicable for most traditional college students.

Twenty different options – that’s a lot of sexy talk. It took me a year to decide whether or not I liked lemon in my sweet tea, and sometimes I still pause.

So to make it easier, I’ve categorized the options into three groups: hormones, semen blockers and good luck with that plan.

Hormones are recognized because of the famous, lifesaving pill. However, there are several different options other than the pill that work similar to it such as the patch, IUD, the depo shot or having a vaginal ring like NuvaRing.

The hormones work by keeping eggs from leaving the ovaries, which then prevents the egg from joining with sperm. And just to be clear, pregnancy cannot happen without the two joining. In addition, according to Planned Parenthood, the hormones also act by making the cervical mucus thicker to keep the sperm from getting to the eggs.

Semen blockers are recognized by the classic frontrunner, the condom. The condom is available for both men and women, but there is also a diaphragm and cervical cap as other choices.

The female condom works just like the male condom and keeps sperm from entering the vagina. The diaphragm and cervical cap are a little different, though. Both use a spermicide, which stops the sperm from moving. In combinations with the spermicide, these two devices also block the opening of the uterus to prevent the egg and sperm from joining together. My one concern with this category is with the cervical cap, as its effectiveness is low and can vary depending on how many children a woman has already had.

Good luck with that plan really only has two options: the pull out method and abstinence. While some may argue that they have mastered the pull out method, I’ve never been a fan of Russian roulette. Abstinence, however, is the most effective method if followed properly.

I’ll go ahead and throw my luck towards anyone using this method. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Hormones:

Patch

  • No need to remember daily

  • Patch put on the skin once a week for three weeks and the fourth week no patch

  • 99 percent effective if used as directed

Birth Control Pills

  • A variety of pills on the market

  • Taken daily

  • 99 percent effective if used as directed

Birth Control Shot

  • No need to remember daily

  • One shot is given every three months

  • 99 percent effective if used as directed

IUD

  • No need to remember daily

  • Can be effective for five or 12 years

  • 99 percent effective if used as directed

Vaginal Ring

  • No need to remember daily

  • Inserted into the vagina once a month for three weeks

  • 99 percent effective if used as directed

 

Blockers:

Diaphragm

  • No need to remember daily

  • Can last for two years

  • 94 percent effective if used as directed

Cervical Cap

  • No need to remember daily

  • Can last for two years

  • 86 percent effective if used as directed for women who have not had a child

Condom

  • No hormones in the body

  • Protects against sexually transmitted infections

  • 98 percent effective if used as directed

 

Good Luck with that Plan:

Pull out method

  • No hormones in the body

  • 94 percent effective if used as directed, but 73 percent effective if not

Abstinence

  • No hormones in the body

  • 100 percent effective

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