Q: What do you do when your significant other won’t tell his parents you exist and is keeping your relationship hidden?
A: There is no justified reason your partner should be keeping you a secret from his parents. He may actually be a great guy and he is just scared. I would approach this situation delicately. You need to have a one-on-one talk with him and let him know how much this affects you and what it is, or could be potentially, doing to your relationship. Inevitably, if you don’t have this talk with him, your relationship will fall apart. It probably already feels like a slap in the face he is keeping you in the dark. Let’s face it, you are awesome! He should be excited to have his parents meet you! If after you have your heart to heart about how he is making you feel and still nothing changes, you need to value yourself enough to cut him off. Give him a little time to ease into it, but also make sure you are not wasting your time waiting for him to be honest. Someone out there will hold you in the highest regard and be honored for you to meet their parents. A real man takes pride in his woman. Point blank.
Q: I recently got a Tinder account and met a guy on there. I’ve heard so many mixed emotions, what do you think? Is Tinder for booty-calls or dating?
A: Being such a blunt person my initial reaction is to blurt out, booty-call! I have personally never downloaded Tinder but my views on it are not so positive. So I didn’t give you a biased opinion I did a survey on 50 other Shepherd University students to better answer your question. Every single one of those 50 participants claimed to use Tinder for dates, but when they were asked what others used Tinder for they said booty-call’s. Interesting…
Here is what I will say… What ever happened to meeting people in person and establishing a connection? By swiping left or right you are letting people judge you on your looks. What about your values? What if someone just doesn’t take a good picture? What ever happened to a kind heart and personality mattering? This person could be a catfish! This seemingly ‘okay’ looking guy could have a kick arse personality and you just denied him all because he wasn’t a 10 on the hotness scale. That is so demeaning. If this person who you just swiped right for is ‘so hot,’ they could probably pick someone up in person, so why the need for an app? I do think there are genuine people who download Tinder in hopes of not just having a one night stand. My girlfriend and her boyfriend met on Tinder and have been together for eight months, I just don’t think that is the norm. My advice to you is to be cautious. Definitely, whatever you do, do not let your pants be unzipped the first time you meet this guy. Remember your value as a woman and make him wait for it. Play coy, be flirty, but do not give in! Also, the first time you meet this guy, meet him in a public place with lots of other people around for protection reasons.
Q: I dated a guy for a little over a year and he was really abusive. Now I feel like I’m damaged goods and don’t know how to trust anyone. Will I be single forever?
A: No. You will not be single forever, and no, you are not damaged goods. Ah, where to begin… I was in a mentally abusive relationship for two years and I felt the same way once I finally got out of it. Even today, a year later, I remember things I was conditioned to think were okay and I’m like, why on earth did I think that was okay?! You don’t realize what is happening at the time and afterward you don’t realize how long of a road you will travel to get back to just being okay. You are not alone. I consider myself such a strong, independent woman; I can’t believe I ever stayed for that length of time with such a belittling man (boy). My point in saying that is this, it can happen to anyone. I could write a novel about this topic but the main thing you need to get back to is loving yourself. This is going to be the hardest but best thing you can do for yourself. Rediscover who you are and fall in love with yourself again. For me, I signed up for a gym membership and that was my “me” time. The gym is a quiet place away from the chaos of the word where I can unwind and do something that focuses on me. The great thing about the gym is you can think there, or put in a pair of headphones and listen to the words of a song. It doesn’t have to be the gym though, you can paint, read a book, get outside more, take time to be with friends you may not have seen in a while; just do something. Whatever it is that you may have been neglecting, something you have been meaning to do, something you enjoy; just make a vow to do it and you will find yourself rediscovering you. What an abuser does is they break you down, that’s how you get sucked in. You now need to put those pieces back together. I wish you the very best of luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you. XO