A Story About the People Who Make Appalachia Beautiful.
As a gay man who grew up in rural West Virginia, I have a ton of stories about being harassed and hounded for being “different”, typically by your run-of-the-mill redneck, but this is not about them. This is about the non-run-of-the-mill rednecks, the ones that have always welcomed me with open arms. This is about the people I like to call Red Wine Rednecks.
I come from a long line of Red Wine Rednecks. My mimi, my aunts Amy and Becky, my mom and my dad are all Red Wine Rednecks. They are those people who have the charm and grace of Appalachia, without the bigotry.
The “Red Wine” aspect of the name doesn’t really have anything to do with wine itself. In literature, we see red wine represent a complex duality of emotions. On one hand, it represents love, passion and celebration, while on the other hand, it also represents melancholy, violence and self-sacrifice. Red Wine Rednecks are similar in that sense. They are some of the most passionate, loving people on Earth, but were often raised in extreme conditions. From extreme poverty to emotional manipulation and abuse, these people have endured a lot, but they never let it break their spirits.
They take a lot of pride in their physical appearance. My mother always taught me, no matter how hard life gets, you always throw yourself together before you leave the house. They strive for an unattainable perfection, always looking well-groomed and well-dressed. You will never catch them in public looking unkempt.
When I was younger, my mom used to tell this story about my mimi: the day my mom brought me home from the hospital after giving birth to me, mimi came to visit me. My mom was still in her maternity pajamas, healing from a C-Section, and the first thing Mimi did was tell her to put on some real clothes. “Put some lipstick on and do your hair too,” she said. “You never know who’ll drop by, and you don’t want to look raggedy in front of company.”
When Red Wine Rednecks get together, the conversation ultimately turns to how much weight they’ve gained or lost recently, how much cosmetic work they’ve had (or want to have) done, or how beautiful they were when they were younger. What they fail to realize is that, to everybody else, they still are.
They enjoy quiet summer evenings on porch swings with the low hum of a radio tuned to the local classic rock station, while their kids sleep peacefully inside. Their homes usually smell like coffee cake because of the tart burner in the corner of their kitchen. It sits right next to the decorative napkins that say, “Wine a little. Laugh a lot.” We were never allowed to use those because they were ‘decorative’.
Their homes are lived in but full of love. They spend hours cleaning before having guests over, but the first thing they say upon their arrival is, “Hi,” is, “Don’t mind the mess.” This is almost a ritual; home is one of the most sacred things to them.
They grew up in a world where family was always number one, no matter how messed up and dysfunctional they were. They will do anything and everything it takes to protect the people they love. They’re usually polite and graceful people, but if they sense, for even a second, that you aim to hurt someone they love, all bets are off. Nothing means more to them than the people they come home to.
They are willing to sacrifice everything for the people they love. They’re willing to skip out on that new drum chair, so they can get their daughter’s cheer uniform. They’re willing to lose a car for a few weeks so their little brother can borrow theirs. They’re willing to skip out on that new pair of boots, so they can take their son to D.C. Pride.
They have a close relationship with God, but they rarely talk about it. They raised their kids in church, but as their kids grew up, they started going less and less. Now, they only go to church every now and then, but they still pray every night, thanking the lord for their blessings and wishing protection for their loved ones.
The difference between religion to a run-of-the-mill redneck and to a Red Wine Redneck is that a Red Wine Redneck doesn’t use religion as an excuse to judge others; they use it as a means of grounding themselves and fostering their own communities.
I have story after story about how awful growing up in West Virginia was at times, but this isn’t one of them. This is about the people who made it beautiful.
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