Let’s be honest, when it comes to breakups, it really does get complicated.
That really attractive person you’ve been seeing on campus for a few months now recently revealed they hoard cricket carcasses and for some reason you can’t get into it.
What about if you’ve been with someone long-term and you have finally decided that your lover’s job as a weed dealer just isn’t cutting it anymore?
Breaking up with someone can be hard, so in order to avoid a messy breakup, there are a few tips you can follow.
First and foremost, you should be ready for the breakup. If you do not fully commit to moving forward, then you might as well stay in the relationship for the long haul because on again off again relationships are unhealthy.
Have you ever listened to a friend ramble on about his or her relationship problems and any advice you give them never works or doesn’t pertain to the situation? The sober self trashes his or her lover, but at the end of the night after a few drinks, oh how lovey dovey are they during those phone calls on the way home.
If you find yourself thinking you can still text or talk to your ex as friends, then plop it right where you are. You need to be able to function without your ex completely.
A dating partner needs to mesh with your needs and aspirations, and alcohol should not enhance or decrease this desire. If your partner does not enrich you, then it is time to move on.
Once you are ready for the breakup, you need to make it a clean one. People are messy in more than just an emotional way, so in order to do as little damage as possible, keep the breakup simple.
If you have been living together and it is possible, I would suggest finding a new place to stay as soon as possible or waiting to breakup until this option becomes viable. The longer you stay roommates, the easier it becomes to fall into old habits.
You also want to avoid initiating the fade during the breakup process. Don’t fade out of sight. When you breakup with someone, make your intentions clear by being specific with what you want or don’t want. Your honesty will allow the healing to begin sooner rather than allowing your former lover to sit and pine away.
Be sure to delete him or her from your social media accounts as well. No one likes a profile prowler and if you are friends or followers, that assumption will be clear no matter what. If you stay on the social media account, you are deliberately setting yourself up to be angry with every photo or status update and vice versa. No matter how attractive, those selfies aren’t going to erase the terrifying shoebox full of cricket bodies.
The last thing you can do to avoid a bad breakup is to not look back. After you have ripped the bandaid off, let it bleed. Eventually it will clot up and heal up over time. Don’t look at it.
It is possible to become friends with your ex after a breakup, but depending upon how the breakup was handled and the temperament of the relationship, I would avoid remaining friends. You don’t want to feed the bite. Becoming a booty call after a relationship is a downgrade that you do not want to make.
Ending relationships cordially can be a delicate process, but if you know how to do it the right way, it will save you and others a lot of heartache.
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